…And Nick Saban should not consider the Browns. There’s a “report” from a local Cleveland radio station that the Cleveland Browns are interested in making Nick Saban their next head coach. (ed. note: the report was refuted by 92.3 The Fan, but the rumor has taken off to the point that all the radio stations are talking about Saban) That is a stupid idea. The Browns are the arguably the worst franchise in the National Football League. Browns fans hope this will change with their new owner and president, and for their sake, I hope it does. The worst thing new management can do is hire a college coach.
How many college coaches have succeeded in the NFL? The answer is not many. If the Browns are interested in unsuccessful NFL coaches there are plenty available who are coaching in the NFL. Also, I am pretty sure Nick Saban tried the whole NFL thing and it did not work out well for him at all. Many will argue he was set up to fail in Miami, but according to his bank account he did not fail at all. If he leaves Alabama for Cleveland it will be to simply pad his bank account.
Random Cleveland radio stations, Browns fans, Haslam, Banner, Heckert, and whomever else do yourselves a favor and find someone who has the passion and desire to coach in the NFL. Saban has a contract with Alabama through 2019, he is also 60 years old. If Saban were to join the Browns he most likely would want to blow the entire franchise up and start over again. By the time his players and system would be in place Saban would be nearly 65 years old. Browns fans, are you willing to wait another five years to see if Saban is the right coach?
Nick, you have proven at three schools you do your best coaching at the college level. In college, you have total control over everything; in the NFL you have control over nothing. I am not stupid enough to think that you will stay in Tuscaloosa until 2019, although I hope you will. Should you get the desire to leave and take on another challenge in the next few years there are plenty of places in college football that would be far better for you and your family than the NFL, much less Cleveland, Ohio.
If you make the choice to leave Alabama I cannot see you going to another Southeastern Conference school, but you might. If you chose not to here are a few places where you can go and succeed with a lot less stress and make millions.
- Texas: It is time for Mack Brown to go, but I am sure everyone in Austin would be willing to tough it out with him if they thought they had a chance to get you on board. The weather is almost as beautiful as the women in Austin. Also, Texas generates almost as much money as any collegiate athletic program in the country and would love to give you a large percentage of that money.
- Southern Cal: I know you are not a west coast kinda guy, but who could deny that USC is one of the best programs in the country? Their current coach, Lane Kiffin, is the second most hated person in the SEC. Who’s the first? You. But, Nick, be real, you do not care what people think of you. USC constantly pulls in one of the best recruiting classes and you could step in for Lane and win a championship within two years. Also, beautiful women and truckloads of cash.
- Penn State: Not exactly an attractive option right now, I know, but in about three years it will be. If you were to leave Alabama for Happy Valley as a last hurrah, no one in their right mind would begrudge you. PSU would be the perfect retirement project for you. Penn State will not be a great team in four years and I cannot promise Bill O’Brien will be there, but I have to imaging the two of you are friends considering your common BFF Bill Belichick. PSU may or may not have the deepest pockets in the Big Ten. Take their money, enjoy their very large stadium and get a statue there. How many people have statues at two universities? They already have a place for your statue.
- Virginia Tech: Someone needs to save that program. I know, they are not exactly at the top of the heap, but neither was Michigan State and you went there for a few years. VT will finally get rid of poor Frank Beamer who cannot beat anyone and cannot be trusted outside of Blacksburg. Go have fun in the ACC, it is a conference that has been largely terrible for ten years. Notre Dame, Florida State, and Clemson would all welcome you…as would the rest of the BCS commissioners.
- Ohio State: This is the most obvious choice, but the last of the five I expect you to end up. I know your “boy” Urb is here, but in due time he will be ready to leave. I know you love Ohio State, and Buckeyes fans all over the world would have a collective orgy if you showed up. In fact, if Urb was still in Columbus they would likely help him pack. On a serious note, there is not a better place in college football to coach. Right now, it is #2 to Alabama. Downside: Ohio women are not as beautiful and it snows in Columbus. Upside: dollars and rings.
Nick, you have a much better chance at success in the college football than you will in the NFL. I know, you want a Super Bowl ring and who doesn’t? Really though, no one that counts will be mad if you bounce from college to college winning championships where you can have some control. Soon you will be able to collect retirement, so why go to Cleveland and deal with the garbage that is known as the Browns? Hell, if you really want to coach in the NFL go somewhere warm…like Miami—oh wait, you did that and it worked out wonderfully, right?
P.S. Browns fans: Nick Saban will want to change the uniforms and helmets.
Written by Damien Bowman